Recently on “Wait, Is it a romantic date?” we are joined by Autostraddle President and
L Keyword
expert
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. Yes it’s true! This episode is about lesbian interconnectivity â setting up with buddies’ exes, friends starting up with these exes, therefore the culture created by all those things crisis.
Come the news, stay for the emotional running. And before that enjoy a game that tests Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking would not.)
Thank-you for all your good comments after the premiere! For those who haven’t however start thinking about providing us with a rating or examine!
PROGRAM RECORDS
+ Five years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood chart
that is the intersection of my personal interests.
+ Here’s
the essay
I reference where I mention hooking up using my roommates.
+ My crush from the week Mj Rodriguez released a music video for her tune
“something you should state”
!
+ As someone who has just seen a small number of symptoms of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush for the few days C.C. Babcock ended up being stunning if you ask me whenever it proved she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina tells me they basically nonetheless tend to be.)
Drew:
I might end up being extremely great with-it existing. I would never ever include someone else without their particular permission. But the idea of whenever some one had been like, “make sure you may be linked to me,” I’d end up like, “Yeah, it’s the life i have lived. I do not mind.” Usually weird? Is problems?
Christina:
No, as if I found myselfn’t, i’d feel bad not-being. I would personally end up like, “Wait, I’m not lying?”
Theme track performs
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I Am Christina.
Drew:
And this is
Hold Off, So Is This A Date?
Christina:
Hold Off, So Is This A Romantic Date?
is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big questions. To start with, will it be a romantic date? What are dates? Who happen to be dates? Can we like times? They are variety of concerns that individuals address with this right here very specialist and beautiful podcast.
Drew:
I’m Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
My name is Christina Tucker. I am additionally a writer at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer on the internet. Im recovering at explaining myself personally as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. That is all of us. That is whom the audience is.
Drew:
Yeah. Therefore our primary topic this week is The Chart.
Christina:
I just thought it required a sting. I’m not sure. That believed truly dramatic, but In my opinion it required it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Thank-you, thanks a lot. No, no, no. Appropriate level of drama.
Christina:
Thank you.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re dealing with lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I favor that expression since it sounds like you’ll want to restart the lesbians. It sounds just like the connection to the internet actually operating.
Drew:
Yes. it is very advanced level, extremely futuristic, but additionally has been in existence since there has been lesbians, i do believe.
Christina:
Yeah. I do believe students will say after they discovered one lesbian fossils, they discovered a data alongside of these carved into the sand. And I also genuinely believe that’s just what that flick concerns, correct? It’s about the information? That flick with Kate Winslet in addition to mud fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that is what it is more about.
Drew:
I wish
Ammonite
was about cavern ladies. I’d see that lesbian flick.
Christina:
Well, as I haven’t viewed it, i’ll bravely declare that it actually was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve plenty lesbian duration parts, but we have now never ever gone right back that far. And I also believe it’s time we carry out.
Christina:
Let us only keep getting it more back in its history.
Drew:
Before we have to the main topic, you’re nonetheless learning united states. And that I felt that it could be enjoyable to try out a-game for which you dudes could really get acquainted with Christina. Therefore all of our icebreaker for this few days is actually a little online game that I name “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I am, again, so stressed about it. This might you should be just how I come in to the online game. This could be my personal online game mentality, just a little high key, just a little stressed. Which is ok. We’re all understanding.
Drew:
In my opinion that’s fantastic. I think that can make you more susceptible, possibly.
Christina:
Certainly one of my favorite feelings.
Drew:
Merely a horror, merely an acute horror. So the manner in which “Would U-Haul” works is I’m going to describe a scenario. Let’s call-it Christina follower fiction. And I also’m planning pause after each little area becoming want, “Okay, Christina, i am aware you have never lived with somebody, do not want to live with a partner. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And that I will often say yes or I’ll say, “i am prepared.”
Drew:
If you do not â really, we are going to see right here. But i am excited. I think I maybe cracked the signal.
Christina:
You have damaged the signal? I am excited.
Drew:
Let us observe very long this requires. Just in case there is a constant would, I think you win? I am not sure just how discover champions right here.
Christina:
I’m not sure that there are winners inside video game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Well, I am not sure should you decide’ll go along with that after this. Thus I’m getting heading.
Christina:
Reasonable enough.
Drew:
Okay. Very, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You are at your buddy’s marriage. In spite of the plethora of romcoms you’ve soaked up, you did not check-out this wedding ceremony considering you would satisfy anybody because, well, this is simply not a romcom. This is basically the actual and normal longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You take the assigned seat and are generally glancing at your cellphone once you understand a woman at your dining table is wanting at you. She presents herself as the pal’s former baby sitter. She’s remained a friend of this family members, but she does not truly know anybody there. She seems like mid-forties and it has a striking angular face. You set about chatting. She offers to allow you to get a drink. When she stands up, you realize she’s six foot large, 6â² 3â³ in heels. So that you understand what? I am just attending stop there and stay similar, at this point, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I’m captivated. I am fascinated because i would get set only at that wedding ceremony. But at this point I am not U-Hauling anywhere.
Drew:
Cool. That’s completely fair. Entirely reasonable. Okay. And that means you spend entire wedding observing the other person. There is just an immediate spark and instant biochemistry. And yes, you are doing get together therefore the sex is actually amazing.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And so this wedding ceremony was at Northern California. And so you both increase your own remains for three days to shag and check out and consume at restaurants and screw. Therefore provide to split the expense of the today mutual space, but she laughs you off and is also like, “certainly not, honey.” Therefore the next three days are miraculous. You’re feeling your walls tumbling all the way down. You’re slipping quicker than you actually ever have. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
So only for understanding’s sake, I’m having a difficult time imagining a global which I got three shock days away from try to hang out with you I do maybe not understand. That seems bonkers. In case I did, best for myself. But I’m simply not U-Hauling during this period. It’s going to be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. That is fine. You only came across. I have it. I get it. Okay.
Christina:
Thank you so much plenty.
Drew:
So she comes back to ny and you come back to craigslist m4m Philadelphia.
Christina:
That is where We stay.
Drew:
And you’re texting always. This is where you reside plus its in which this woman life. And you are texting all the time and also you see both several times monthly. She’s really busy together job, but she’s quick to get you a train admission to help you arrive see the lady and stay at the woman beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. And then 6 months pass. And another evening if you are off to dinner, she asks you to relocate together with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And move to New York? Really don’t really love ny. No, I am not relocating from the half a year mark. I am not doing that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Totally, totally, totally. Wow. Okay. You hold online dating cross country. She understands that needed some time and she is ready to expect you. A few more several months pass. It’s now already been over a year. Your landlord informs you that they are offering your house to a developer that’s setting up apartments, and that means you can not renew it. You will need to get a hold of a unique spot. Your now girlfriend tells you that no stress, but the woman provide nonetheless appears. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this point, i might U-Haul for a few explanations.
Drew:
Yay! Fine. Kindly reveal.
Christina:
Primarily, in some sort of wherein my property owner offered my house to build it, my personal landlord happens to be my companion, in order that appears like some thing moved wrong inside our friendship. And that I must just keep Philadelphia in any event. Assuming I get to move in using my girlfriend over here, that appears good. That is good. Completely good. But yeah, i do believe i would need an external force like a mean landlord.
Drew:
That’s very â okay. I did genuinely believe that you’d should need casing getting indeed there, and so I’m happy We understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. That’s just what needs to affect myself 1st.
Drew:
Well, I’m pleased to understand what it takes. Thus theoretically, if you weren’t kicked out, how much additional time?
Christina:
Seriously, that could have gone on for some time. Philly and New York aren’t actually that far from both. I obtained room over right here. We are jumping back-and-forth. We are having fun. I possibly could have permit that roll for a long period until I guess Shoshana becomes the worst person I know.
Drew:
I did not understand that Shoshana possessed home. Really, there you choose to go.
Christina:
There we go. Wow, that has been exciting.
Drew:
Well, thanks for playing.
Christina:
I’m stressed, becoming obvious.
Drew:
And that I’m glad that I’m sure⦠perhaps if you should be ever, anytime anybody’s ever internet dating both you and desires you to relocate, maybe your own gf informed Shoshana to sell the house with regard to your own union.
Christina:
Honestly the quickest way â some one would only have to talk to Shoshana and stay want, “merely kick their out.” Immediately after which she’d be like, “Yeah, positive. Of course.” That would be the way it took place, regardless if she don’t offer the home. Someone would you need to be like, “is it possible to only kick this lady away so she will just get over it and relocate beside me?” And she would state yes. Double she’d do that. That’s what friendship is actually.
Drew:
Everyone loves that.
Christina:
Yeah, that’s truly stunning.
Drew:
Really, I feel like we learned alot about yourself.
Christina:
Cheers. I’m like I discovered many about my self, also. Danger of homelessness is really the point that keeps me moving in any scenario, i suppose. Wow.
Drew:
Well, which is fantastic.
Christina:
That has been really exciting. I am just as excited to go into the major segment because In my opinion talking about lesbian connection with this specific guest, with this unique visitor, I think it will likely be remarkable, Drew. How are you currently feeling?
Drew:
I’m so excited. This is an expert. By that, i am talking about an
L Keyword
specialist, but also a small amount of an expert in subject at hand.
Christina:
I think a couple of things may be correct, my friend. I do believe a couple of things tends to be genuine indeed. Can we need to present the guest or will we wish our very own visitor introducing by themselves?
Drew:
I might love our guest introducing by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I will claim that our guest could be the only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, communicate.
Riese:
Hi, I’m Riese. As well as being unusual are the visitor!
Christina:
Yeah, truly.
Riese:
I’d to not say everything. I did not even do it. I did state things. I got to sit down here calmly.
Christina:
And you also happened to be actually daring. Along with your faces were valued.
Riese:
Thanks a lot such.
Christina:
Though it is certainly an audio average, i’d like all of our listeners to understand that Riese had been creating some good reaction faces during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There’s numerous ways to-be heard. You-know-what i am talking about? That is what i usually state. I’m the President of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball group. And that’s myself. I have your pet dog called Carol. And I also have actually outdated people.
Christina:
Congrats regarding the kickball!
Riese:
Thank-you. I am involved in individuals.
Christina:
Great. Loving that. That is great to take to this, this here online dating podcast. That is really good.
Riese:
Yeah. I believe that⦠Could There Be other things?
Drew:
No, i do believe that is fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
What you may need to share.
Riese:
I enjoy raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.
Christina:
Compared toâ¦
Riese:
You Understand an individual goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It’s like once you blow. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those are terrible, and so I simply just exhausted all of them from my mind.
Riese:
Yeah. That is certainly all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Really, we right away looked at you because of this topic.
Christina:
That is correct.
Drew:
Because firstly, obviously, queer ladies and non-binary folks in lesbian area being like, I don’t know, having sex with individuals just who people they know experienced gender with since a long time before
The L Term
had been previously a string. But I do feel like
The L Word
solidified a certain cultural concept of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like you’ll have a lot of insight into this topic.
Riese:
It is real. A couple of article writers, i wish to state, of
The L Word
had this actual information of those in addition to their friends these people were attracting from the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, ended up being one. She spoke to us about any of it, which they had constructed this. Because demonstrably, everyone else in that author’s space had banged other folks when you look at the author â you know, and also the extended internet of that generation of lesbians in Los Angeles. And in addition they watched that and these people were like, “Why don’t we place it within the program.” Plus some ones are on the chart. Like, some of the people who ⦠like, actual folks are about data as bull crap.
Christina:
Which is incredible. That’s the method that you learn you’ve made it.
Riese:
Is not that sexy?
Christina:
That will be fascinating for me.
Riese:
And so if you haven’t seen
The L Term,
first, congrats. Second, it becomes the centerpiece of a single of one’s head fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s it all over the woman wall. And it also could be the name of web site they started called ourchart.com that flopped. While the idea ⦠and it’s really in pilot, I think. Within the 1st episode, Alice begins referring to just how every person’s linked, because every person’s hooked up using this person. And that I can connect you, like you’re most likely at the most two levels from the myself. Hence was correct. Like, despite having Dana, who’d not a lot of knowledge because she was a closeted tennis player, they nonetheless had the ability to connect the lady. And that’s actuality since it is correct.
Christina:
That’s society. Yeah. That is what society appears like.
Riese:
That’s society. That is queer tradition immediately. And from now on everybody can make their very own maps.
Christina:
Yeah. Making sure that was going to end up being my personal next concern, was actually have actually either of you made a chart? Because I do not believe I have, and I am variety of now considering like, what was this last year seated within my residence for basically failed to create a chart? Like, the thing that was the point of that, truly?
Riese:
In my opinion I’ve completed it inside my diary, in the same manner like ⦠Because i prefer, I am not sure, organizing details, i suppose, as an idea exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, i do believe that is additionally precisely why Im astonished that We haven’t completed it. I love the notion of categorizing situations.
Riese:
Right. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I am not sure the reason why it’s very interesting, but it is. It is fascinating is similar, wow, all of these folks, they can be connected. It’s untamed.
Drew:
From the tv series, when ourchart.com is actually designed, they have an actual chart that people can add things. And I feel something that you joked pertaining to on
To L and Back,
and from now on individuals say all the time is a lot like, when this existed in a genuine way, not one person would place their unique names on it, no body would feel at ease placing their own labels on it.
Riese:
You might.
Drew:
I’d. I would end up being really fine along with it current. I would personally never include another person without their permission. Nevertheless notion of like, each and every time someone ended up being like, “Confirm that you will be linked to me personally,” I’d wind up as, “Yeah, it’s the existence i have resided. Really don’t care about.” Is the fact that weird? Would be that problems?
Christina:
No, as if I becamen’t, i might feel poor not being ⦠i might be like, “hold off, I am not on it? Like, I’m sorry, what?” No, that will actually deliver me personally into a light moral panic about exactly who I am as you, what I’m performing. Was we interesting? Perform people {like
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